Return Of The Assless Chaps: On The Frontiers of the Sexual Aesthetics of Porn. A Guest Post By Sterling Lynch.

Trust Sterling to take my request for vintage-era porn and turn into thought-provoking blog post that has me doing deep some analysis of the aesthetics of porn through the ages. I’m s’pposed to be on vacation, yo!

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As much as my Seinfeld-era sense of narrative nothingness loves the idea of only contributing a guest blog post that is about nothing more than the blog post itself, Nadine’s request that I source some silent era porn in exchange for her assless chaps quest did spark an idea for the kind of post I normally write.

Plus, I have links to a bunch of porn that looks to be genuinely of the silent era.

Open at your discretion people. These are explicit clips designed for heterosexual male consumption. It’s a fairly mainstream free porn site (RedTube.com), but I don’t know whether or not it will add crap into your browser.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11,

For me, what stands out the most about these clips is how very similar they are to contemporary pornography.

Other than the actual quality of the image and a slower pace (which is true of all films — porn or not), narratively and aesthetically speaking, these films are shot-for-shot and position-for-position almost identical to most of the contemporary porn I encounter. The only real difference is a greater emphasis on kissing and fondling and, in one case, post coital bliss.

There are a few plausible explanations why this silent era porn is so much like contemporary era porn.

First, maybe these clips are aren’t genuine. In my search for silent era porn, I turned up some clips that are obviously odes to the silent era rather than actually from the silent era. If you suspect bullshit, let it be known in the comments section.

Second, it’s possible that the sexual aesthetics of most men have not evolved very much over the years.

Three, it’s possible that the sexual aesthetics of the people who control the industry (both the producers and the consumers) have not evolved much.

Four, it’s possible that the aesthetics of porn are self-perpetuating. Most people learn about sex through porn, so people’s notions of explicit sexual content is over determined by the already existing aesthetics of porn.

Five, it’s possible the genre has limited aesthetic possibilities, particularly given the target market. There’s only so many ways to tell the story of boy meets girl, boy fucks girl, boy’s relationship to girl ends immediately after he blows his load on, in, or near girl that will satisfy the demands of the hetero-male consumer.

Six, there’s no competitive advantage to innovation in this market for porn. In an industry that sells its product by the pound, taking the time to innovate might not lead to any discernible benefit. Egro, why innovate?

Seven, my sample size is too limited. There may be plenty of more interesting “for hetero-male eyes only” porn out there and, silent era or not, I ain’t going to find it on a freebie site.

Eight, it’s possible I’m not giving credit where credit is due. Maybe, by your eyes, the change in aesthetic is more substantial than I am suggesting. For example, the manner in which women give blow jobs in porn has certainly evolved over the years, even if the BJ itself appears and is presented in pretty much the same way in every clip.

What do you think?

Do you agree or disagree with my claim that the sexual aesthetics of these silent era clips are very similar to the sexual aesthetics of contemporary porn? Are the sexual aesthetics of porn mostly unchanged? What factors do you think best explain the lack of change? If the porn industry is changing, what do you think is the catalyst for this change?

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Sterling Lynch waxes philosophical about everything from identity to the popularity of brailizians for balls at his eponymous blog, Sterling Lynch.

The Assless Chaps Strike Back: Here’s Your Pound Of Flesh, Nadine. A Guest Post by Sterling Lynch

In 2010, my pal Sterling Lynch sent me on a quest for chaps – a task I completed promptly and admirably with documentation provided. Not long after, I proposed a counter-quest for Sterling…and well…you’ll have to read his guest post to find out how that played out.

Sterling has entered written evidence that supposedly proves aspects of his mission were voluntary. But that’s not the whole story! There were also oral exchanges (that’s not what I meant!) I was led to believe a quest-post was forthcoming. It’s true that over the years, I have moderate inquiries about the progress of Sterling’s post. I was well within my rights to do so. He *said* he would give it to me and I demand satisfaction!

That’s not what I meant.

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Be careful what you tweet for.

I’m not even sure how it all got started, but I know it started on Twitter because ALL_CAPS intervened in my back and forth with Nadine to point out that chaps — by definition — are assless.

Wikipedia, thankfully, supports the view Nadine and I share: the expression “assless chaps,” despite its redundancy, does designate a unique phenomenon — that is, chaps designed and worn for fetish purposes.

Go ahead do an image search on Google. You know you want to.

Anyway, clearly, assless chaps are the sort of thing one should look for on a trip to San Francisco! Or so I thought. Nadine, always agreeable to all things silly and titillating, agreed. The scavenger hunt I proposed was, after all, putting the tit back into silly!

She blogged it, of course, and somehow managed to try on a fabulous dress while touring the Castro in search of assless chaps. Read it here.

In this post, sharp readers will notice that a causal Twitter conversation is transmogrified by Nadine into a “demand” on my part. This transmogrification reads all the more strange to my eyes because I’m sure — sure! — Nadine was soliciting ideas for adventures in San Francisco. No demand, I can assure you, was made by me.

Sure enough, an email arrived two days after the post went live. Under the title, “Your mission (should you choose to accept it)”, Nadine writes,

Given your apparent enthusiasm for 1920’s fashions and your interest in various porn-flavours, your quest is as follows: Find some olde tyme, silent-film era porn. Bonus points if accompanied by a related blog-post.

While it’s certainly true that I am enthusiastic about 1920s fashion and have an, ahem, “interest” in various flavours of porn, it was unclear to me how or why Nadine thought this generated a “mission” for me to fulfil.

I noted that the mission was characterized as a “if you choose to accept it” mission, so I chose to stall for time, replying:

Alright, let me think on this… 🙂

As it happens, a couple of weeks later, while I was undertaking, ahem, some “research” into my “interests,” I stumbled across this NSFW clip. It’s not from the 20s, but it looks to be authentically silent era.

Like Bush on that aircraft carrier in the Gulf, I flipped Nadine the link and triumphantly declared, “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!”

To which she replied,

Looks authentic! Funny, I was re-reading the ChapQuest post this afternoon. You found the porn. Now all you have to do is blog it. 🙂

Que? Now all I “have to do” is what? Blog it? How did “bonus points” turn into a “have to?” Again, I stalled for time, replying,

Oh. Am I supposed to blog it? Sure thing! 🙂

My smilies here are meant, I think, to imply something like, sure, when I get around to it, Mrs. Grabby Pants.

And there the discussion sat for a long long while, until it finally boiled over one candy wine meth fueled night.

Nadine said slurred something like, hey, you never wrote that blog post about vintage porn. you filthy double crossing, liar, and cheat, where the hell is that blog post you owe me? I’m going to cut you, fat boy. Again!

To which I hoarsely screamed replied, you will read it in hell, you, Queen of the Harpies I will be glad to write the post as soon as an opportunity arises.

When Nadine asked me to guest blog, while she was on vacation, I thought, aha! here’s my chance to publicly denounce her to resolve our misunderstanding in an agreeable fashion for all.

Mission accomplished.

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Sterling Lynch waxes philosophical about everything from identity to the popularity of brailizians for balls at his eponymous blog, Sterling Lynch.