The big day is here! I’ve moved to my new online home at adorkableundies.com. I’m all unpacked and ready for visitors, so please drop by and say hi!
How many of us are having partnered sex each week? The Durex Sexual Wellbeing Global Survey polled 26,000 people in 26 countries and discovered that approximately 67% of folks worldwide are gettin’ it on each week.
There must be something in that Mediterranean air, because lovin’ is happening all over Greece, where 87% of respondents have sex weekly. Meanwhile Japan reported the fewest number of people doing it, with only 34% of the population having sex weekly.
The United States had the next fewest bedfellows at 53%. Canadians are slightly randier – in any given week, 59% of our countrypeople are sexin’ it up!
Tomorrow I can finally share my fun secret project with you all! So wherever you are in the world, be sure to stop by and see what’s in store.
This week I feel sexy in…
Black and white!
I’ve been dressing in colour for as long as I can remember. I only recently began to see how black and white ensembles can create the same sense of whimsy and drama as the bright, bold hues I favour. This first outfit was
blantantly ripped off from inspired by Sally. Sometimes a gal gets to feelin’ a little derivative.
I love outfits composed of well-matched prints. Unfortunately, when I try to execute the look I usually wind up looking like a scary patchwork clown. But black and white prints make for easy-peasy combos. I also love that although there are two small hits of yellow here, the colour really stands out.
I wore this outfit to the Les Prix Rideau Awards – Ottawa’s annual shout out to the best in local theatre. Every part of this ensemble was either thrifted or gifted. I nabbed the dress for a mere $8 dollars and though it was a little big up top, that left me plenty of money for alterations. I whisked my new-to-me-frock to my tailor, who made the necessary adjustments. It fit perfectly when I picked it up two weeks ago, but apparently my boobs shrank in the interim because when I put it on for the awards it was loose again. I wound up filling the gap with The Green Bean’s socks.
This is Kevin.
You may remember him from his guest post a couple of weeks ago. Kevin is my true friend and a super-kind soul who spent a good chunk of time mad-dancing with me at The PRA after-party. He looked so damn good in his vintage skinny suit that I had to post his picture here, so you could all see for yourselves!
Have a great weekend, everyone…and don’t forget I’ve got a surprise in store next Tuesday, May 1st, so be sure to check in!
Summer is coming.
YES IT IS!
I know Ottawa’s been chilly and grey and I’ve been forced back into my winter jackets. Yes, I saw the SNOW Monday morning. I don’t care! I’ve lived in this city long enough to know that there’s always one last gasp of wintry weather before soaring temperatures and sunny skies banish the blustery, cold bravado once and for all.
These grey clouds won’t dampen my optimism. May is but a few days away. I saw tulips in the park! THE TIME IS AT HAND!
Almost-summer is when I usually start gearing up for the Ottawa Fringe Festival. This year I decided not to submit a production, opting instead for a slightly more relaxed start to the season. My shrink says it’s important to take a break every now and then, which is true. But after four years, I’ve come to expect a surge of activity around now and I find I’m jonesing for some kind of new project.
Fortunately, I may have found just the thing.
Recently, my friend Ruthanne and I were discussing the fact that while we’re pretty passionate feminist, we haven’t actually read a ton of feminist literature. Without the demands of a show to prepare for, now might be the perfect time to rectify that situation. My first impulse was to dive into the hard-core canon and get all up in the Friedan and DeBeauvoir. Then I remembered that I suck at dense intellectual lit. The fatigue associated with being a working parent has compromised my reading comprehension. Plus, I have a bad habit of being distracted by shiny things.
But I do like to read, especially in bed and it’s a practice I’d like to rekindle. After doing some browsing online and looking through some of my old “To Read” lists, I put together a list of feminist-focused titles that are meaty enough to raise my girl-power cred, but light enough to be digested by my work/parenting addled-brain. So this summer (IT IS NIGH), imma be boning up on my fem-lit. Here is:
My Fabulous Feminist Summer Reading List
- The Body Project: An Intimate History Of American Girls – Joan Jacobs Brumberg
- The Courage To Raise Good Men – Olga Silverstein and Beth Rashbaum
- The Day I Ate Whatever I Wanted: And Other Small Acts Of Liberation – Elizabeth Berg
- Feminism Is For Everybody – bell hooks
- Free To Be You And Me – Marlo Thomas and Friends
- Full Frontal Feminism – Jessica Valenti
- Manifesta – Jennifer Baumgardner and Amy Richards
- Reality Bites Back: The Troubling Truth About Reality TV – Jennifer L. Pozner
- Yes Means Yes: Vision Of Female Power & A World Without Rape – Jaclyn Friedman
And…in case in case all the easy summer reading leaves me blissfully un-agitated, I’ve added this highly rated anti-feminist selection:
In the interests of getting gold stars from my therapists I’ve no goal other than “read whichever of these books I want”. But I will blog about what I do read, and let you know what I thought.
Also? I do have one other project in the works, but I’ll tell you more about that on May 1st. Stay tuned!
Do you have a favourite feminist author? What are you reading and doing this summer? Are you excited for the warm weather (any day now) or are you sad to see winter go?
For my money there’s nothing quite like afternoon sex.
My libidinous urges tend to reach their peak after lunch. The Man of Mans and I both work during the week – we are rarely available to each other. I’m often left to my own devices…literally.
I’ve read articles in women’s magazines that recommend I resist the urge relieve my tea time arousal. I should let it simmer, while I send my partner suggestive communiqués about what’s in store when he gets home. This strategy seldom works for me.
My excitement doesn’t percolate. Rather it boils away as the day progress and I’m left feeling slightly cranky. I don’t like to squander my opportunities for orgasm.
These days work and childrearing mean that partner sex usually happens at night. My body sometimes needs a little more prodding, or more acurately, a little more fondling. Fortunately I’ve married a generous man who, after fifteen years together, know me and my body very well.
But there was a time.
There was a time when we were young students, pressed together on slender dorm room cot and I let my 3 o’clock poli sci lecture fall to the bottom of priority list the moment he kissed me.
There was a time when Sundays didn’t start until eleven o’clock brunch, followed by a walk if the weather was nice. We would come home and veg on the couch. There was always snuggling…and often more.
There was a time when our son was an infant and we both worked from home. The baby took long afternoon naps, time that was frequently used to catch up on chores or sleep. But some days we’d simply sprawl in bed. I would relish in the feeling of sun and touch on my skin and the reassurance that yes, I could still be desired in my new role as a mother.
I love my family and my work. Sometimes the associated time constraints are less than ideal, but they’re a price I’m willing to pay. And self-sex is good enough that it might warrant a nostalgic post of its own, someday.
Someday there may not be as much work for me to do. My son is growing. Someday he won’t need or want his parents so much. The Man of Mans and I will no doubt lament the loss of the demaning little boy who commands so much attention and demands kisses, hugs and other tactile affection. But (fate willing) we will have each other. And I will no doubt seek comfort in the renewed pleasures of afternoon sex.
Allan wrote wanting the lowdown on morning erections. Why do guys get them? he asked. They definitely makes the first pee of the day a challenge.
The cause of Nocturnal Penile Tumescence or “morning wood” as it’s often called, is not known. There several popular theories. Some believe that the a full bladder places pressure on the nerves that cause reflex erections. Other suspect the erections are the bodies way of preventing urination overnight. And some think it’s the body’s way of increasing blood flow to keep the penis healthy.
Penises are restless sleepers. Barring physiological issues, the average cock gets hard between 3 and 5 times per night. These erections tend to coincide with REM sleep, a phased which becomes prolonged a morning approaches. We often wake up out of REM sleep, so if you have a penis there’s a good chance it’s going to be alert and ready to start the day…even if you aren’t.
This week I feel sexy in…
I know, I know. Cardigans are the wardrobe stable of preppy New England blue bloods and soccer moms. They aren’t SEXY. But hear me out.
It’s early spring, which in Ottawa means unpredictable temperatures that fluctuate quite a bit from dawn ’til dusk. Cardigans provide a layer of warmth, that can be easily removed as the day warms but they’re a tad more body conscious than a big bulky coat.
Besides, who amongst us doesn’t indulged in a little soccer mom-themed role play?
I’ve been wanting a yellow cardigan for a dog’s age! But lately every option I found was too boxy, to heavy or a shade that made me look like I had died. During our vacation, I made a trip to the local outlet mall where I found this:
It’s the perfect shape, the colour works with my skin tone and best of all, it was on sale for a mere $15 bucks. A good cardigan is hard to find, so I picked up a few in different colours.
I dig the look of a belted cardigan. This open front, shawl-style sweater is a perfect candidate, as it’s longer, lighter weight and doesn’t have any buttons or other fastners to get in the way of the belt.
I’m having spring fling with yellow this year. It’s a more challenging colour for my skin tone than pink, but I am smitten with the hues that invoke images of fresh lemons, buttercups and other summertime things. Will my mellow yellow crush develop into long-term love? Only time will tell.
I’m a big believer in tailoring and bringing my clothes in to be nipped, tucked, hemmed and otherwise adjusted has become standard practice. I’ve never considered bringing an accessory to my tailor…until now. This scarf is lovely, but it’s looong. The wind picks up and suddenly I’m entwined in fabric tentacles!
June 6th is Gay Day at the Walt Disney World Resort and people, The Florida Family Association are up in arms! Last year the FFA hired a plane the circle the Magic Kingdom with a banner “warning” patrons that the day was in fact gay.
Personally I’d prefer a flying alert about the exhorbitant parking fees, but hey, we all pick our battles.
According to their website, the FFA’s primary complaint seems to be that queer folk being queer at Disney is a SUPER-bummer! That may not sound like a big deal but they ask us to consider the following:
How would you feel if you entered the Magic Kingdom anticipating a normal day of fun with your family only to witness thousands of same-sex couples holding hands, hugging, kissing and wearing tee-shirts that promoted their lifestyle?
Whoa. I totally did NOT think of it that way. Nothing ruins a day of family fun like gentle affection and TEE-SHIRTS!
The FFA goes on to report:
VERY LOW ATTENDANCE BY FAMILIES AT THE MAGIC KINGDOM Florida Family Association’s team in the park has never witnessed a day at the Magic Kingdom where so few mainstream families were in attendance. The team estimates that attendance by mainstream families was down approximately 50% to 60% over the average attendance of the last ten years. Because of the significant reduction of mainstream families in the park Gay Day patrons’ appearance was much more visible…there were only about twenty people in line for tickets at 1 pm on a beautiful mild day in Central Florida.
I’m torn. Because on the one hand, SHORT LINES – WOOHOO! But on the other hand, mainstream families are pretty effective at obscuring queer people. Without them, gay people are free to just walk around being all VISIBLE and shit!
But what really cements the Family Association’s beef, are a series of photos from last year’s Gay Day that prove CONCLUSIVELY that queer people exist. Check it:
OH MY FUCKING GOD! THEY HAVE THROWN THEIR HANDS IN THE AIR AND THEY ARE WAVING THEM LIKE THEY DO NOT CARE!
Also? TEE SHIRTS!!!!
Won’t someone PLEASE think of the children?
Congratulations FFA, you have nailed it! Gay people go to vacation destinations, where they can be seen in pre-shrunk cotton shirts. Audacious, I know. But instead of spending your hard-earned money on airplane signage and using your precious energy to fuel your outrage, may I suggest an easier, less expensive, less jackass-y perspective on the situation:
Queer people exist. Get over it.
Over the years I’ve amassed a large collection of vibrators and each one is special in it’s own way. I’ve assured all of them that they are equally loved but secretly there one I adore most of all – The Lelo Liv.
Lelo is a Swedish manufacturer specializing in high quality vibes and other sexy things. Liv is one of Lelo’s most popular products and no wonder — this beauty is a cunt rockin’ superstar with an impressively long list of pros:
- The tapered tip is great for focused clitoral and perineal stimulation
- The long smooth shaft is great for vaginal penetration
- Forget about hunting for a fresh pack of Duracells when the mood strikes. The Liv has a rechargable battery that lasts for 4-hours.
- The variable speed control means you can enjoy anything from a gentle massage to spine rattling wanking.
- The variable pulse control lets you mix things up and experience rhytyms that the human body just can’t replicate.
- It’s quiet.
- It’s designed with non-porous silicone and high quality plastic, which makes it super easy to clean.
- It comes in three gorgeous colours – Dark pink, lime green and navy blue.
- It’s easy to hold.
- It’s got a slight curve, just like most vaginas.
- And it comes with a one year warranty!
There are a couple of cons. It doesn’t have a flared base, so it doesn’t make a great anal toy. And price-wise it’s somewhat costly at around $130 CDN. That having been said, if you have the means, this toy is worth saving your allowance for!
All of my vibrators have their own place in my nightstand and my heart. But my Lelo Liv is everything I’ve ever wanted in a vibrator and more; a marvel of engineering and supreme provider of orgasms. I can’t help but play favourites. Hopefully the other toys understand.